1. The refrigerator is so small that by 10 o’clock, there’s no room to squeeze in one grape, much less another bagged lunch.
3. Employees roll the chairs from their desks into the break room rather than sit in the uncomfortable plastic chairs provided.
4. The expiration date on the ham sandwich in the vending machine dates back to the first Bush administration.
5. The soda machine still offers Crystal Pepsi.
6. It’s standing-room only in front of the 13-inch TV during “Oprah.” For the sake of your employee’s eyesight, it might be a nice gesture to invest in a nice flat-screen that everyone can watch.
7. Everyone goes out to eat rather than spend their lunch hour in a fluorescent-lit, white-walled room that vaguely resembles a mental ward.
8. The toaster oven zaps anyone who attempts to change the setting from light to dark.
9. You turn on the microwave using a dial.
10. The refrigerator and dishwasher are both avocado green.
11. The fridge is so dirty that someone has covered it with “friendly reminders” (read: passive aggressive notes) that next Tuesday everything will be thrown out because everyone (except for the note writer, of course) is too slovenly to properly dispose of their expired food.
12. The knotty-pine cabinets remind you of your grandmother’s house.
13. There’s wood paneling on the walls.
14. With no way to let off steam in the break room, employees have taken to playing dodgeball in the parking lot, which has led to a surge in sick days as people nurse broken noses and ribs. (We’re guessing you’ll have fewer injuries if you invest in a ping-pong table.)
15. Everyone wears headphones and there’s a petition circulating to ban Kenny G and Michael McDonald from the break room playlist.
16. Employees take naps in the reception area because there are no couches.
17. Employees would rather pay $4 for a cup of coffee than drink the free stuff, which tastes vaguely like battery acid mixed with tar.
18. The goldfish in the aquarium added to cheer employees up look depressed.
19. There are no windows.
20. At lunchtime, the line for the microwave wraps around the office. It might be time to invest in a couple more.
First photo courtesy of Panzera.ync.org.
Second photo courtesy of uglyhousephotos.wordpress.com
Third photo courtesy of on TracyJuang on Flickr