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The 5 Manliest Offices in America

Maybe it’s sexist, but most of us have a clear idea of what the average guy’s living space looks like: barren, dirty, and filled with sports paraphernalia and unwashed clothes. A bachelor pad, in other words, long on empty pizza boxes and short on vegetables. But translate that mental image to the realm of cubicles, and what do you get? One of these five extra-manly offices.

1. You know what this place needs? A tiny soccer field.
Oh, no need to worry. We have one right here. (Although since this office is in Mumbai, we guess it’s probably a football field.) Anyway, it’s a pretty serious show of decorative devotion.

2. This is a bar, in an office.
It’s from a legal blog, and it’s intended to help attorneys entertain clients. That just goes to show how different various office cultures are. If you left this lying around a newsroom or a media company, you would quickly have a pile of broken glass, some empty bottles, and very drunk colleagues.

3. Captain Dorkus, your presence is required on the bridge.
This office design concept is so nerdy, we’re actually impressed. Well, actually, first we were impressed. Then we were horrified. Then we sort of started giggling nervously the way you do when someone at a party tells you they think hobbits are real. Then we were impressed all over again.

4. This guy qualifies for “Hoarders,” right?

Could you even have a meeting with this guy? We would keep looking around the room, trying to find our old Star Wars figures. But then again, something tells us he’s probably not a very social person. Maybe the whole “meet in person” thing doesn’t come up very much.

5. The perfect office for any bunker.
OK, OK, it’s a cliche. But you show us a person with three monitors, a laptop, and three shelves full of digital gadgets, and we’ll show you a dude. This man is serious about his media consumption. Also, take a look at the lower right-hand corner and tell us what you see. Take a minute. We’ll wait. Yes, that’s right: That is a rack with dozens and dozens of guns. And there are even more on the wall to the left. Here is a person who is prepared for the zombie apocalypse. We should all probably be very, very nice to him about his office decor.

Posted by James Wilkie

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